6 Stupid Things You Do After Break-up

 
Stupid Things You Do After Break-upNot so long ago (and I hope you won't go through it again), you endured pain caused by a once love-is-all-that-matters kind of relationship you had. 

Until it was drifted along the sour shores of empty promises and misunderstandings that one day it became what-used-to-be. And you're left with nothing but what-could-have-been and what-should-have-been.


But have you learned anything by going through it? How were you able to deal with all the hardships it caused you? How do you move on from a failed relationship? How do you forgive and forget?

And finally, what are the stupid things you do after break-up?

1. Hu u? (Yep, you delete your ex's phone number)
It definitely goes into the list, if not being the first: deleting your ex's mobile number - as if doing so instantly deletes the number(s) from your memory as well. Duh! To justify how dumb it is to actually delete the number in hopes that you start forgetting it, we need to take a little detour on the subject.
 
In Psychology, memory is generally classified into two: short-term and long-term.

Short-term memory stores random information that our brain acquires from our daily activities such as the price of the coffee you just had, the numbers on the test paper you failed to answer correctly, your withholding tax for the month, the cheat list you've just created for your upcoming exam and the likes.

Long-term memory, on the other hand, keeps filtered or wanted memories such as  your first kiss, where you lost your uhm -- never mind, your Facebook password, the name of your ex, and the list goes on.

Unfortunately, the phone number of someone so special which kept you awake late at night over time falls under the long-term memory. And while long-term memory might be susceptible to the forgetting process, it can last for a matter of days to as long as years!

 
Delete Phone Number

So deleting your ex's phone number does not make sense at all especially if your goal is to move on and forget. This just makes you long more for his/her texts or phone calls that when an unregistered number pops up in your phone, your heart beats faster (either you're still in-love or mad at him/her), and that does not help anyone from moving on.


2. Do I Know You? (You do it, the Facebook way) 
Then Facebook comes along. Next thing you subconsciously intend to do: un-friend him/her or worse, block!

Yet the first thing you do when you log in your Facebook is to sneak peek on his/her profile (though this is not possible if you've blocked the person).

Good news though, Facebook has yet to formally introduce a Who's viewed me? feature (like what we used to have in Friendster), so your ninja moves aren't unsuspecting for your ex. At least not yet.

But seriously, do you really need to block him/her?

Besides, Facebook already have this un-follow button (which wouldn't notify the person anyway) so you wouldn't have to deal with all the posts to come from him/her, especially something that comes with a hash tag #FoundTheRightOne. Yay!


Unfriend Facebook

But, just like deleting your ex's number, this can also lead you to being more hooked up on your ex! First you're just curious on what he or she is up to now that the two of you had separated, then the next thing you know you're on the mercy of obsessing yourself in following his/her latest updates.


3. You pretend you're okay
So you were dumped. Your move: brag in social media for the entire world to see how strong you are, how idiot your ex was for leaving you and that you don't need him/her anyway. 

Seriously?

Strong and there you are, digging all threads and blogs for some quotable quotes that best relinquishes your thoughts and tantrums for the moment. Besides, pretending to be what you're not is like a boy who was just hit by his playmate and was not able to dodge:  



Boy: Di man masakit!

Playmate: Iiyak na yan!

Boy: Di na..man.. ma..sa..keeet!

Playmate: (Louder) IiiiYakk na yaaan...

Boy: Di...man...sabi..ma...sa...keeet!! Waaahhhh.. Mommmyyy!!!!

Stop pretending you're OK, because you're not. Moving on requires you to accept first what had just happen.

You pretend you're okay

“It's his/her loss, not mine! and there you are crying, whining, and mad at everything and everyone that has nothing to do with why you broke-up.

“I don't need him/her, anyway. and there you are post after post, begging the world to see, like and share your stupid posts of what the hell went wrong, who would love me now?, am I not worth loving? and sometimes as ugly as who could be my next bf/gf?, until a whose side are you? is formed.

There is life after a break-up.

Much more, there is more to life than Facebook.

4. You flirt too soon

A mistake can't be used to correct the other mistake, period. If your ex cheated on you, please don't even think about payback because it will only work for at least overnight.

It's easier for someone broke to develop an attachment to somebody, since you're sensitive and is likely to desire attention and special treatment. Let me tell you this: Anyone who's attracted to you can turn into an instant sweet and sensational guy / lady next door you've just needed!

You flirt too soon

That's why it's very irrational for someone who just went through a rough relationship to start flirting on day one! Why? Because your heart is over your head -- which will mindlessly let you just see the good traits this new person has, since you'd keep comparing him/her over the last piece of shit that had just dumped you! Besides, it would be unfair to the guy/girl to let him/her be the band-aid to your wound.


5. You hang-out with your friends
I don't know about you, but I think we have been inspired by so much dramas nowadays that every time a break-up among couples is in the table, beer is on its way. Truth is, there is no escaping. 
 
You hang-out with your friends

Yes, you'd be a happy horse while the party is on. But you know it -- you can't party each day. Plus, you're ought to spend a lot (unless someone else is willing to throw a move-on party for you). But then again, after the noise subsides, you will still be left alone to reminisce yet again.

6. You become a field reporter
Now this could spell disaster for you, unless both of you really decided to call it quits. Of the many break-ups today, more than half of it leads to reconciliation. That's why we have this Love is sweeter the second time around in the first place. The point is, you should NOT stupidly divulge a detailed explanation as to why you and your ex had split-up! Don't cross the line between containing and rationalizing.

Containing means you somehow wonder if the two of you can patch things up, leaving doors open. Rationalizing is, in sports, thrash-talking the one you used to love (which at this point you still do) with his hands off-guard. People normally do this to play the blame game in order to win the sympathy of the people around them.

 
You become a field reporter

Then the inevitable comes up. You wanted your ex back. Both of you. The problem? Your family who now despises your ex because of all the tirades you have fondly told about him/her.

Should you not be open to your family? No, that's not the point. You should actually open up things like this. But do not go into the deep details yet, unless you're damn sure what you really wanted for the two of you.


BONUS: You watch One More Chance
I should now. I'm a self-confessed fan of this 2007 hit movie about a 5-year couple who had their fair share of breaking up, moving on and (spoiler alert!) rekindling their romance.

On the surface, it's quite appealing for you to watch: a theme that's tailored-fit for your current situation: something that better understands what you're going through. Something your happy friends can't relate to.

 
You watch “One More Chance”

Man, you're no Popoy nor Basha. What you just get is a rewarding dosage of drama that will probably drown your heart out with pain induced by seeing Popoy's emotional struggles after the break-up and blame the movie for making you feel blue. While the movie can give you a handful of lines which you can use as your personal mantra, it still all boils down to the real you -- the actor, the writer and director of your very own movie.


Enough said, cut!
After all the struggles you overcame with love and its consequence, I'm sure you're a lot better person now than you were yesterday (I Hope so).


They say lucky were the ones to have met a single partner enough to complement their entirety (so they won't have to go through such break-ups). But were they really blessed not to have undergone such dilemma? You'll be the judge. As for me, it's damn if you do and damn if you don't.

And if you ever wonder what made me write this article (while looking very poised and knowledgeable on the subject), you guessed it right: I did all the stupid things listed above like most. Yikes! Because if there ever was an A-Lister for doing such all-time stupid list of don'ts upon calling it quits, boy, wasn't I proud.


But that was 'was', mind you.

PisoandBeyond Which things on the list did you do? Receive cool updates like this when you subscribe to PisoandBeyond!

27 comments:

  1. Nice.. Is this article dedicated for M.J.?

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    Replies
    1. Hmm..let's just say it's for all the MJ's out there..

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  2. Haha i know what's behind of this blog before jeff publish this title haha nice blog jeff

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  3. AnonymousJune 06, 2014

    really?? you did those? parang di nmn ata?hehe pambihira

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  4. Mr. Reyes, get one of your nasty-nice friends to edit your work. Your style actually reminds me of how I tenaciously held on to what I called my style. Lots of zings, humor and a bit meandering sometimes, but always aims for substance.

    There's this saying from facebook--- GRAMMAR- the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit. lol Nakaka-distract lang. More power, young man!

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    Replies
    1. Ha-ha! I must confess I'm really having problems with those. One of my friends scolded me 'bout that already. I guess I must be hard-headed, huh? :-P But I'm a work in progress, I'll be fine. It would have been better if you use your account instead of being anonymous so I can thank you, really. Nonetheless, thanks for reading and reviewing my work! ^_^

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  7. Lee Kima, From CanadaSeptember 11, 2014




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  8. Thanks for mentioning things about "What NOT to do on Facebook after breakup!" There is more to life than Facebook indeed!

    ReplyDelete
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