The Great Salesmen


The Great Salesmen
One day, some of the greatest and seasoned salesmen from around the world gathered for an international convention. They were invited to share (and boast) some of their best skills in the field of sales and marketing.

There were practitioners, brokers, researchers, network-marketers, marketing specialists, agents, dealers and freelancers among many other skilled salesmen that came to witness the invite-only gathering.


Soon, the event's host started the program and challenged all the participants to line up according to the importance of what they sell.

Everyone was astounded by the task issued to them! The room was immediately filled with noise and cracks! What was earlier a festive, yet serene mood turned into a bustling atmosphere...


Is this really a part of the program? How could we possibly outweigh one another?, asks one person.

A young woman asked the host, Should we line up according to the current market value of what we sell?

The host was about to answer the woman when suddenly, an old man stood in front of the crowd and spoke,
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.1  For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?2 So I suggest that the Preacher standing right there be the first on the line.

The room was packed with silence.

Wealthy Man
Surprisingly, a wealthy salesman from the crowd raised his hand to catch everyone's attention and declares, What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them,  Go in peace, be warmed and filled, without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.3


PreacherThe preacher flashed a smile to the wealthy man and with a profound voice he answered, You have faith and I have works. Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.3

Everyone nodded in agreement and gave the preacher a standing ovation.


I guess that makes the Preacher grab our first spot! declares the host. So the second position in the line is up for grabs!
 

Bookworm I sell books, says a book merchant, Faith is a must, and so is our wisdom! And it's on the books I am selling that we find wisdom. A book is a dream that you hold in your hand.4 It's the reason why we're told that, if we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.5


Gluta Pa MoreSuddenly, a beautiful woman interrupted the book merchant, There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book.6  

Some people agreed and cheered for the beautiful woman!

So what do you sell that you think is more important than a book, Madam?”, asked a banker.

The woman quickly replied,
I offer confidence. Confidence is the sexiest attribute a woman can have. If you feel good, you’ll look good.7

Confidence, Madam? How?
 
I sell soaps, the woman proudly exclaimed!

The Book Merchant quipped,
Must we borrow confidence from glutathione, Madam?

People started laughing at the beautiful woman. Then, a man started to clap until the crowd noticed him,
Precisely, my fellow sales gurus! One must not borrow confidence from soaps nor borrow knowledge from books! That's why I, a Real Estate Broker, should carry on with the second spot!

And why should you be ahead of me? asks the man who carries books.

Because with all due respect, you may keep reading books, but remember that a book is only a book. At the end of the day, you should learn to think for yourself.8
 

Real Estate Broker Ahh! Beautiful and fancy houses and condominiums! Those, Sir and Madam, are more worth deciding! Worry not, for my rooms will shelter your books and my bathroom will comfort your soaps! A house is an asset! So I'll take the next spot.
 
 

Of course you need books! Because a house without books is like a room without windows,9 interrupts The Book Merchant.
 

Asset it is, but only if you do not live on it! shouts The Investor.

The crowd was divided with The Investor's argument!


Car Dealer You can cry your hearts out, but that spot belongs to cars, the Car Dealer announced to the crowd!  

Remember, everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.10 Besides, the cars we drive say a lot about us.11


Insurance Agent Tell me, Mr. Car Dealer, will you bring a car to your grave? asks an Insurance Agent. 

 
In a snap, your car can get crushed. Yet what I sell will give you back your car! Or worse, give your dependents an income replacement for your death!
 
 

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?12 Oh sorry, I'm afraid that's you! the Car Dealer grinned.

The crowd was on its feet once again, some holding their laughter while others, dismayed by the Car Dealer's statement.



Spell Caster
Ha-ha! Easy right there my brothers! But I do have a question for Mr. Insurer:  Is there relationship insurance? You know, in case someone steals your significant other? If not, there should be,13 because if that's the case, I think I deserve a better spot ahead on both of you. I'm a Spell Caster, or simply, a Counselor who sells ways to resolve conflicts.

Insurance is only good if you die too soon! But what if you live too long? Investments can take care of that. That's why I should get the second spot of this line, claims The Investor.

Gintong Patatas
But investments are risky and they take too long! I can give you higher returns by as much as 500% in 3 months, with zero risk! shouts a scammer Gold Trader Gold Networker.
 

Golden potatoes, señora? quips one person.

And the room was once again filled with laughter. More and more arguments continued as to who gets the spot next to the Preacher when suddenly, a frail voice was heard saying,
You take all the spots; I'll get the last one!
 

But why, Sir? Won't you even dare to challenge what others sell and just concede your case? asked one man.

I'm used to it, says the young man.
 

What do you sell, anyway? I guess it's not that valuable that you're willing to be placed last. Ha-ha!
 

Health Advocate
I only sell gasoline to the only vehicle a man would ever need to buy and enjoy what all of you are selling.

..and what is that, señor?

Your health.


1 - Matthew 6:33 | 2 - Matthew 16:26 | 3 - James 2:14-24 | 4 -  Neil Gaiman | 5 - Ralph Waldo Emerson | 6 - Josh Jameson | 7 - Unknown
8 - Maxim Gorky | 9 - Horace Mann | 10 - E. B. White | 11 - Alexandra Paul | 12 - Woody Allen | 13 - Jarod Kintz 


PisoandBeyond


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4 comments:

  1. Health is Wealth, indeed!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just hope that what he sells are not one of those overrated herbal supplements!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lorie Anne CasupananJanuary 13, 2016

    woooow...just wooooow!

    ReplyDelete

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