Patingin-tingin, di naman makabili.
Patingin-tingin, 'di makapanood ng sine!
Walang ibang pera, kundi pamasahe!
Nakayanan ko lang, pambili ng dalawang yosi.
Paamoy-amoy, di naman makakain.
Busog na sa tubig, gutom ay lilipas din..
***
Bart took out a low-end phone from his pocket, a constant reminder of his once shiny, elegant and brand new iPhone 6s that he had to sold to pay some debts. He plugged the earphones and turned on his phone's FM radio. With a tired body and another frustrating day, a good music might be what he needed to give him a little lift.
Bad idea.
***
'coz if one day you wake up
And find that you're missing me,
And find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder
Where on this Earth I could be?
Where on this Earth I could be?
Thinking maybe you'll come back
Here to the place that we'd meet,
Here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'll see me waiting for you
On our corner of the street,
On our corner of the street,
So I'm not moving,
I'm not moving..
***
"Wow", Bart said in amusement, "Of all songs, this is what you'll play? Really?", he asked as if the DJ will hear him. So he decided to just unplug the earphones.
Bad idea.
The music player on the bus was playing. He quickly flashed a bitter-sweet smile upon hearing the song.
***
Nais kong matulog,
Ngunit 'di makatulog.
Ngunit 'di makatulog.
Sa pag-iisip
Ang utak ko'y nabubugbog.
Ang utak ko'y nabubugbog.
Pahamak na pag-ibig 'to,
ako'y gulong-gulo.
ako'y gulong-gulo.
Tumatakbo ang oras
Ngunit gising pa rin ako...
Ngunit gising pa rin ako...
Kung di lang dahil sa kanya,
Ngayon ay masaya.
Ngayon ay masaya.
Ayos lang, kahit pa
Nasasaktan ang puso ko,
Nasasaktan ang puso ko,
Kung sino pang minamahal,
'Sya pa ang ayaw sa'yo..
'Sya pa ang ayaw sa'yo..
***
"Seriously?", was the only word he mumbled. A lovely song for a lonely man travelling on his way home after an exhausting day looking for a job. Why not? He just lost his job some months ago. He was one of the many employees that their company had to lay-off when it was acquired by a bigger company. Actually, "lonely" would be an understatement to describe him. His girlfriend for two years just broke up with him few weeks after losing his job, adding insult to an already troubled man. As if it's not enough, the next song went playing,
***
Lumilipas ang panahon,
Kabiyak ng ating gunita.
Ang mga puno't halaman,
Bakit kailangan lumisan?
Pana-panahon ang pagkakataon,
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon?
***
"What the ...?", Bart silently exclaimed as the song almost punctuated the summation of all his problems. He was just about to escape the pain yet again by sleeping through the music when the bus came to a halt to pick-up other passengers. An old man sat next to him and the bus hit the road again, and so were the songs..
***
Come to me and hold me,
And you will see the love I give
For you still hold the key.
Every single day,
You always act this way.
You always act this way.
For how many times I told you,
I love you, for this is all I know.
I'll never go far away from you.
Even the sky will tell you,
That I need you so.
For this is all I know,
I'll never go far away from you..
***
"Ang lakas naman maka-One More Chance nang kanta.", said the old man seating beside him. Bart looked at the old man who was smiling.
Thanks to the songs that the sanctified DVD player was tasked to play, memories started to flash back. Bart was at the point when everything around reminded him of the past. From the trees, plants, billboards, foods and cars, they all reminded him of someone and something.
It was a four-hour trip back to his province and needed to let go of his frustrations and everything that was holding him back, or he might find himself looking like a cry baby inside a bus. He decided to talk to the old man seating beside him. "He's a total stranger anyway.", he told himself.
"I was a well-paid, talented, good if not great, damned Engineer. Who knew this would happen to me?", he said with teary eyes.
"What's wrong?", asked the old man.
With an almost hoarse voice, Bart replied, "I lost a job I thought I'd never lose. Then my girlfriend broke-up with me. Can you believe that? I thought she was happy with me all those years. I gave her everything I could. But I was a fool to have believed that she loved me for who I was, and not for what I had. I never imagined a day in my life that I'd borrow money from my relatives to ride a bus just to attend a job interview!"
"You mean you have no savings at all from being a well-paid, talented, good if not great, damned Engineer?", asked the old man while appearing serious.
MONEY CAN'T BUY HAPPINESS
Bart gave him a quick smile. He got the old man's humor. "Why save when you knew you had everything going your way? It's the moments that counts. Money can't buy happiness, right?"
"You think so? Well, money can't literally buy happiness, for the same reasons that you can't buy time or any other things that you can't see with your eyes or hold with your hands. But you needed money when you bought her a bouquet of flowers to make her smile. Was it the flowers that made you happy? Nah. It was seeing her smile and happy. That was what you actually paid for. Now tell me, son, that money can't buy happiness.", said the old, wise man.
***
Can't believe that I'm the fool again.
I thought this love would never end..
How am I to know?
You've never told me..
***
Bart blankly stared on the window. It all made sense to him - all the dates, flowers, chocolates, movies, out-of-towns and the gadgets - he needed money to enjoy those. So how could he not take good care of his money by at least saving?
Bart continued to share his story with the old man, from what-used-to-be to what-could-have-been. The timing of the next song that played couldn't be more perfect..
***
Kumupas na,
Lambing sa'yong mga mata.
Lambing sa'yong mga mata.
Nagtataka kung bakit
Yakap mo'y di na nadarama?
Yakap mo'y di na nadarama?
May mali ba akong nagawa?
Tila nag-iba ang mga kilos mo at salita.
Bakit kaya,
Parang hindi ka na masaya..?
Parang hindi ka na masaya..?
Ika'y biglang natauhan,
Umalis kaagad ng hindi nagpapa-alam.
Ang sabi ko hindi kita mami-miss,
Hanggang kalian ito matitiis?
.
.
Ngayon ko lang natutunan,
Na subukang mabuhay
Na para bang may kulang.
Na para bang may kulang.
Pag nawala doon lang ma-mimiss
Paalam sa halik mong matamis..
***
"About this girl..", said the old man, trying to break the silence. "I'm quite sure she didn't broke up with you just because you lost your job."
"But that's what she told me!", Bart said with a firm voice. He was quick to apologize to the old man for raising his voice though. "Ok, if it's not the reason, then what could it be?", he asked.
"Maybe, she saw the same person I saw in you: a man of no direction, blinded by a vicious fallacy with money and love of material things. You do and buy things to impress. I'm sure you didn't visit Boracay because you planned to create memorable moments there with her, but because you wanted to let your friends know that you went there. All you ever cared for is your job. She might love you that much that she made herself look bad so you can move on easily by hating her."
***
Take time to realize,
That your warmth is crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side.
Didn't I? Didn't I tell you?
But I can't spell it out for you.
No, it's never gonna be that simple.
No, I cant spell it out for you.
If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And will never find another.
And will never find another.
Just realized what I just realized,
We'd never have to wonder
If we missed out on each other now..
If we missed out on each other now..
***
Bart's face was all red. If the old man's statement insulted him or made him angry wasn't the case. Whether his assumptions were correct or not didn't matter. The old man had a point. Bart started to recall where or when it turned sour. He never cheated on her, sure. But he would work on weekends, including moments that required his full presence. He invested on gadgets and material things instead of time and life experiences with her. He never confessed about the importance of money, yet he would trade time to earn money.
As if the bus, the DVD player, the driver and everything around him conspired, every song that played seemed to be especially dedicated for him...
***
I need to talk with you again,
Why did you go away?
All our time together,
Just feels like yesterday,
I never thought I'd seen,
A single day without you,
The things we take for granted,
We can sometimes lose.
And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again?
'Coz time will pass me by,
Maybe I'll never learn to smile,
But I know I'll make it through,
If you wait for me.
And all the tears I cry,
No matter how I try,
They will never bring you home to me..
***
After a heart-breaking moment of silence, Bart swallowed with an empty mouth, prompting his throat to sound as if he swallowed something called pride.
"You know what I call people like you?", asked the old man.
"What?"
"A loser.", said the old man as he stood up and waved to the driver signaling his taking off the bus, leaving Bart alone and wandering, as the last music on the playlist played...
***
..Too dumb to realize,
That I should have bought you flowers
And held your hand.
Should have gave you all my hours
When I had the chance.
Take you to every party,
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance.
Now my baby's dancing,
But she's dancing with another man..
***
PS: #WalangForever sa pagiging broke, kaya magbago ka na sa buhay pinansyal mo.
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